In Which Andrew Proves, via Indisputable Logic, That He Is Gay

Interesting thing happened at work earlier this evening. One of our tables was occupied by a group of high school kids, and some of them happened to be cheerleaders, in uniform, probably coming from a game or school event of some sort. One of my coworkers came over to me and said, "Dude, did you see those cheerleaders, man?" "Yes," I replied. "Awesome, right?" I shook my head. "How can you not dig that?" (He used some expletives here, but I won't bother including them.) I shrugged. "Well, I mean... are you gay?" "No, I'm not," said I. "Oh," he said. And then he walked away.

So. The fact that I don't ogle high school cheerleaders somehow means that I am a homosexual. Hey! I know! Let's do a logical proof! YAY!

1. Andrew does not like objectifying women.

2. All men who do not like objectfying women are homosexuals.

3. Therefore, Andrew is a homosexual.

Logic makes everything more fun. Yay, logic! But really, do you see how absurd this is? I'm sorry, this sort of thing really gets to me, it makes me wanna slap a foo'. I sincerely apologise to the world at large for the fact that I possess moral fibre. Perhaps the thing that most angers me is that because I'm a "prude," because I don't participate in such stupidity, I am considered abnormal. And it's easy for me to get on my high horse and complain, but seriously, this is bleeding ridiculous. And perhaps the worst part is that women EXPECT men to behave like this. Even some of my female friends are surprised when I don't act that way. That is really horrible. The way I see it, this speaks to the number of real men that our society is lacking.